I Wish It Was Real

Carol could smell meat cooking. It wasn’t so strange; every now and then someone caught or shot an animal and they were able to make a feast out of it. What striked her as odd was the clean smell that the aroma was cutting through. When she opened her eyes, an audible gasp escaped from her lips. Clean, white walls with pictures and decorations met her grey eyes from where she lay. Glancing down she saw a clean royal blue comforter and when she brought the fabric up to her nose, she could smell fabric softener, a luxury she hadn’t been able to use since the zombie apocalypse happened.

Carol sat straight up when she heard clinks and banging coming from the somewhere else in the house. Where was she? She quietly pulled the blankets back and her feet had just touched to cold, freshly clean floors when she heard a girlish giggle coming from the same place as the banging and clinks that she’d heard just a moment before. The laugh was… it was heart breakingly familiar and her breath caught in her throat. Sophia. There was a deeper laugh and for a split second, panic flooded her before she realized it wasn’t Ed’s laugh.  

She stood on shaky, sleepy legs and looked down to see that she was wearing real pajamas; a simple, comfortable night dress that ended right at her knees and had straps that left her shoulders bare. She couldn’t remember ever owning something like this, but with the voices in the other room, her daughters laugh, she didn’t give it much thought as she made her way out of the bed room and into what appeared to be the kitchen.

“Hun, are you gonna want hash browns with yer eggs?” A deep voice pierced the air; it was a voice she’d come to love over the past few months, a voice that she found immense comfort in: Daryl’s voice. Now that she was in the room she could hear the sizzle of the breakfast with Daryl standing over the pan, his back towards her. That wasn’t what brought tears to her eyes, though. Sophia was standing right next to Daryl, looking over his arm.

“Mom, it smells really good!” Sophia said excitedly, looking back at her mother with a huge grin, though it turned into a worried frown as soon as she saw her mother crying. “Momma, what’s wrong?” At these words, Daryl turned from the frying pan to look back at the woman he loved, a look of concern on his features.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He asked, turned off the burner and moving over to Carol, wrapping her up in his strong arms. It was strange, hugging Daryl and the two of them being clean, but as much as she loved being in his arms.. they weren’t the ones she wanted to feel right now. She pulled one arm away from Daryl and beckoned for Sophia to join in on the embrace, which she did happily, clinging to her mother’s side.

“I missed you so much, baby girl,” Carol said, trying to hold her tears back. The pair of them looked at her like she was insane, but she just shook her head. She leaned down to kiss the top of Sophia’s head… but that was when she woke up.

Carol was met with the cold, harsh feel of reality and she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down her round cheeks. It was such a beautiful dream and for a split second she had her daughter back and she had Daryl at the same time. But it was all a dream. It was all fake. Silent sobs wracked her body and she was thankful that Daryl wasn’t in bed with her this time. She didn’t want him to see her like this.